A Logical Event

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A Logical Event

If looked at logically it all makes sense;
We shouldn’t be surprised that it occurred.
All that was needed was a trigger — hence,
If looked at logically it all makes sense.
For every action there’s a consequence,
Though often it’s the actions that are blurred.
If looked at logically it all makes sense;
We shouldn’t be surprised that it occurred.

— D.N. O’Brien

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Cathedral Conflagration Clues

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Cathedral Conflagration Clues

𝟏:

Within a day we know what was the cause
Of this disaster — what efficiency!
Unscathed by revolution and world wars;
But now an accident, and all agree
It was, and yet it seems quite strange to me
That this could happen — were there not strict rules,
And drills, extinguishers? I just can’t see,
Despite this being France, how could some fools,
Some workers start a fire (or two?). It fuels
The arson theory to exclude it — to
Lay blame on renovators or their tools
Without investigation. Facts are few,
Misinformation plentiful — was it
By spark, a rag that smouldered, or match lit?

𝟐:

Although they say it was an accident.
Why did the fire breakout at Easter time?
Could it have been, in fact, an arson crime?
Why did a vacillating government,
With obscene haste declare that this event,
This tragedy, loss of a jewel sublime,
A symbol of the Christian Paradigm,
Was accidental — no evil intent
Was found. (When nothing’s looked for nothing’s found).
They had not searched amongst the cooling ash.
Forensic tests? — no, they had not been done.
The charred remains still cloaked the sacred ground,
And that was for the better — no backlash
Is likely…….. if there is no smoking gun.

— D.N. O’Brien

A Cashless Economy

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A Cashless Economy

Labor is the way to Venezuela;
For socialism is their stock in trade.
Pink or red — one’s just a little paler;
Don’t let them in — you’ll see your freedoms fade.
They’ve been in power before and how we paid
For their mismanagement — the crippling debt,
The mess these mad misguided wreckers made.
They say they’ll pay you not to work? Don’t bet
Your life on it — those workers who now sweat
And earn to pay your way will lose their jobs,
And then the vote you cast you may regret.
Somebody has to make what Labor robs,
Or one day they will go to raid their stash,
And find that they have run right out of cash.

— D.N. O’Brien

Charging Stations & Motels R Us

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Charge!

For just 8 minutes Bill charges his car.
But then he wonders: “Why not it go far?”

And in other news……..

Charging Stations & Motels R Us

The CEO of Charging Stations & Motels R Us, Phil Erup, has announced a plan to build a chain of electric car charging stations complete with integrated motels for hundreds of guests. Thousands of these facilities will be built across the nation in the coming years as we all switch from petrol and diesel powered cars and trucks to electric vehicles.

To quote Mr Erup: “Although my personal hero and next Prime Minister Bill Shorten made a slight boo boo in saying that it only takes 8 minutes to charge an electric car, he was only out by a factor of 60 or so — it actually takes 8 to 10 hours. We envisage swarms of cars converging on our stations at the end of a long day’s driving (well, 500 kms max), and with nearly flat batteries. It will be a simple matter for the drivers to plug their cars in and retire with their passengers (if any) to their motel rooms for the night while their electric vehicles get fresh tank-fulls of electrons pumped into them.”
Mr Erup used an example of driving from Brisbane to Melbourne — “It would only take 4 to 5 days driving with 4 to 5 charges and motel stays.”

When questioned about the fact that with a petroleum powered car and 2 drivers the trip can be done in 24 hours or so, Mr Erup answered: “ Exactly! We all need to slow down a bit — modern life is killing us!”

Environmentalists, worried sick about the world ending in 12 years, have fully endorsed Mr Erup’s plan. A spokeswoman for United Fanatics to Save Gaia from CO2 Suffocation, Nightingale Sapphire Morningstar, stated: “We’d rather there were no cars (and no people), but if there have to be some for the time being then clearly they must be electric — with measures like this the Earth may even last 13 years or so.”

Work on the Charging Stations / Motels is expected to start as soon as the Labor/Greens alliance is elected to government. Neither the leader of the Labor Party nor the leader of the Greens could be contacted for comment as they are both currently attending a “Basic Electricity for Dummies” course at a Canberra college.

— D.N. O’Brien reporting for Satirist M I

The 8 minute charge (according to Bill)

The Other’s Ways

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The Other’s Ways

It’s clear to us that human nature’s changed;
No longer need we fear The Other’s ways.
What came before must now be rearranged
Until it all conforms — our view obeys.
And those few who will not believe — the nays,
They must in institutions be confined,
Until such time as they have joined the yeas —
Until each sick reactionary mind
Agrees with the new system we’ve designed.
The Other’s ways must be approved by all,
And to The Other’s faults all must be blind,
While our old ways must be allowed to fall.
So from The Other we will learn what’s true,
And so reject the teachings of a Jew.

— D.N. O’Brien

Lock the Gate!

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Lock the Gate!

Australians like to leave stuff in the ground;
We won’t be digging coal or tapping gas.
Nor will we mine uranium we’ve found —
Australians like to leave stuff in the ground.
For Venezuela it seems we are bound.
We could be so much richer, but alas,
Australians like to leave stuff in the ground;
We won’t be digging coal or tapping gas.

— D.N. O’Brien

A Sonnet for ScoMo

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A Sonnet for ScoMo

G’day mate, I’m Scott Morrison ya know!
I’m as fair dinkum as a wallaby!
Like good ol’ Clancy of the Overflow,
I’ll boil ya up a billycan of tea!
I’ve lots of stuff that you can have for free!
Although I do admit I can’t match Bill
The Labor leader’s generosity;
But I’m not raisin’ taxes like that dill!
Him and his cobbers they’ll just raid the till!
No! True blue blokes like me don’t tell no lies!
So don’t go suckin’ on that Labor swill!
I’ll swat those mongrels as if they were flies!
So don’t forget, vote Liberal Party mate!
I’m ScoMo, and I’ll make Australia great!

— D.N. O’Brien