MVP Trump


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The Donald – he keeps scoring goals!
The media are having foals!
For when asked how he rates
These “Developing States”,
He just says what we’re thinking – “Shitholes.”


The New Diverse and Inclusive Iliad


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The BBC will seize any excuse
To push their sad agenda – in this show
They portray Patroclus, Achilles, Zeus,
As being black – a shock, a numbing blow
To Greeks. Their Iliad, a tale of woe,
Of heroes, champions and baleful war,
They love, and well its tragedy they know:
The battles on the plain, the blood and gore,
The siege of Troy. So how to then ignore
This dark development, this loathsome lie,
This mangling of the myth, this fatal flaw?
Achilles, the white Greek – he’s a black guy?
Patroklas too, and Zeus! Which one’s the worst?
They should have run the cast by Homer first.

First look at Troy: Fall of a City – it’s fit for a king



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A Foreign Minister in a previous Australian Government
(Alexander Downer) was caught out when he was overheard referring to some
third world countries as “BACs” (Busted Arse Countries – rather than “Shit holes”)

Cameroon and Lebanon and Ecuador and Pakistan
Are really rather similar to Kenya and Afghanistan,
While Cuba and Liberia and Egypt and Sudan,
Have hit the skids like North Korea, Myanmar and Iran.
Columbia, Zimbabwe, Swaziland, Laos and Syria,
Djibouti, Comoros and nasty Niger are inferior,
While Mozambique and Bangladesh and droughty Ethiopia,
Algeria, The Gambia – are pretty much Dystopia.
Nigeria, Iraq, Belize, the Congo and Rwanda,
Are down and out, like Guinea, Eritrea and Uganda,
And many more as sinister according to the Minister,
But I have now run out of time.
(And they’re too bloody hard to rhyme!)

A Sonnet for Oprah


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Oh Oprah, you are special – you’re devine!
I love your ageless features and your hair.
Were you, Oprah, not taken, you’d be mine.
Your face is like an angel’s and you’re fair
To all – for all downtrodden folk you care,
And for the brown and black you tirelessly
Do fight – such heavy loads you’re proud to bear.
Our sins you will forgive; you’ll set us free –
Free from damn Trump! – oh hear our urgent plea!
Oprah – dark maid descended from above,
Please be our President of unity,
And drench the world with empathy and love!
Your fame and reputation have spread far!
(And if you have one spare – I’d like a car.)