Fat City

Tags

Fat City, Formal poetry, poem, poetry

I’m back from Fat City
With this little ditty.
I’ve seen all the feeding.
I’ve seen what it’s breeding.

Way down in Fat City
There’s little that’s pretty
And everyone’s eating
Or taking a beating.

For deep in Fat City
There’s no room for pity;
Their lives have no meaning;
Their ways are demeaning.

The girls in Fat City
Are tattooed and gritty;
They’re plastered and painted;
They’re tasseled and tainted.

The boys in Fat City
Are smelly and shitty;
Adrift and unthinking;
To animals sinking.

I’m tired of Fat City;
It’s hard to be witty
When culture is dying
While chickens are frying.

Australian of the Year

Tags

Australian of the Year, poem, poetry

It’s that time again, when out are trotted
All the heros quite besotted –
Cricketers and tennis players,
Politicians (no brick layers),
Victims of all sorts of crimes
And poets whose verse never rhymes,
Original inhabitants, recipients of government grants,
Mates and masons – their relations,
CEOs of corporations,
Artists and celebrities; do-gooders trying hard to please.

Just one of the population
Picked out for our adulation.
Who will get the gong this year?
Some one who conforms – I fear.

Bog – standard

Tags

bog, frog, limerick, poem, poetry

Bog Frog

While one day I was crossing a bog,
Saw a sign said: “Beware of the Frog!”
But I thought it a joke
Then I heard a loud “Croak!”
And I bloody near fell off my log.

Dog Bog Frog Egg Nog

If you ever are crossing dog bog,
On a log in the flimering fog,
Watch for flappery frogs
Riding humungous hogs,
Loudly croaking, and drinking egg nog.

FoMO

Tags

FaceBook, Fear of Missing Out, poem, poetry, Twitter

Gotta grab me all the glitter
That I see on Facebook – Twitter.
Get the max self satisfaction
From smart social interaction.
On my screen in two dimensions,
All the shiny new inventions:
Luxury and lives inviting,
Lifestyles of the rich – exciting.

Damn, I haven’t got enough.
Gotta get me all this stuff.
Get in quick, no time for doubt –
Terrified I’m missing out.

Kitler

Tags

Hitler, Hitler cat poems, Kitler, Kitler poems, poem, poetry

Some people are really sensitive about the “H” word

If your puss has a Hitler moustache,
Think, before you write anything rash.
For should you pen a ditty
About Fuehrer kitty,
The cat, may indeed, your back lash.

Eric

Tags

Eric Cartman, poem, poetry, South Park

I can’t help but laugh at Cartman;
He’s made treachery an art man.
He is quite expert at telling lies;
He’s cunning but not very wise;
He’s evil and his schemes are slick,
And he’s a scoundrel politic.

This rotund South Park resident
Should really run for President.

Breaking it Gently

Tags

poem, poetry

Private Jones’ mother has died, his Commanding Officer asks his platoon sergeant
To gently break the news to Jones…..

Officer:

“Ah, sergeant, news that’s rather bad:
Poor private Jones – his mother died.

Please break it gently….. it’s so sad.”
The officer said teary eyed.

Sergeant:

“Of course sir……. Right! – Now on parade!

Now make it sharp – be quick, don’t slack!
Cumon! Cumon! now move yer bones!
All those wiv muvvers – one pace back!

Where ARE you going, private Jones?”

The Strange Priest

Tags

limerick, poem, poetry

A ditty about a strange priest,
My theological knowledge increased.
It summed up this guy,
Though I do wonder why,
Does his flock meekly flock to be fleeced?

inspired by a limerick at the
excellent poetry blog: Flammeus Gladius

Polar Vortex

Tags

australian formal poetry, poem, poetry, polar vortex

The Polar Vortex is the latest
Nasty weather – it’s the greatest
Cold event to hit the planet.
Last night when the TV ran it,
Made it sound a new disaster;
Never freezing winds were faster,
All the US will be under
Snow and ice it is a wonder;
It’s the latest new invention –

Scare you shitless – the intention.

Fallujah

Tags

australian formal poetry, Fallujah, Formal poetry, Iraq, poem, poetry

I’ve heard from a reliable insider,
Fallujah has been taken by al-Qa’ida;
They have declared it an Islamic state;

Democracy – a thousand years too late.