𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚

Tags

Australian poet, Formal poetry, limerick, poem, poetry, Shanghai

𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚

I bought a shanghai from Shanghai.

It backfired and took out my eye!

(Shanghai — Australian sling-shot)

— D.N. O’Brien

𝐆𝐚𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞

Tags

Australian poet, Formal poetry, Nord Stream Pipeline, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

𝐆𝐚𝐬  𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬  𝐏𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞  𝐭𝐨  𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭  𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞

It seems the pipeline blew itself to bits.

The Baltic Sea is a depressing place.

The pipeline basically just got the shits

With lying on the bottom with the plaice —

Another day of boredom could not face.

The gas cramping its bowels it could not vent,

For as it did, from Russia more would race,

And thus the pipeline’s dire predicament.

And so by an explosion it was rent,

And all accused the Russians — well of course!

While silent lay the pipeline, torn and bent

And lifeless, ruptured by internal force.

The U.S. did it? What a load of rot!

Relief came from a self-inflicted shot.

— D.N. O’Brien

𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐃𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐔𝐤𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐃𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐟 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐫

Tags

Australian poet, Formal poetry, poem, poetry, Rishi Sunak, Russo / Ukraine war, Snow White, Zelensky

(𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐬  𝐚𝐧  𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞  𝐛𝐲  𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰  𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞)

One says: “I lead the state Ukraine.”

The other says: “My dwarfish brain,

It calculates twill not be long

Until you sing a different song,

Unless we British help you out

By giving you some tanks — your clout,

And by extrapolation height,

Will then increase — what ho! Snow White!”

(A girl has walked into the bar —

she’s six feet six and quite bizarre.)

She says: “What is your dwarfish plan?

You both together make one man,

Pathetic though he still would be:

Conjoined Zelensky and Rishi.”

Then said the much reduced in size

Unto the apparition wise:

“Our plan, while keeping our heads low,

Relates to making lots of dough!”

“I see,” said she, “Fools, don’t you know

I am the goddess of the snow?

The earth I soon will freeze with ice

And lock the land in winter’s vice.”

Snow White then turned upon her heel

And said: “A breeze you soon will feel —

An icy wind from out the East.

This blinding blizzard so released

Will hold each hour in freezing night,

As sure as my name is….. Snow White.

— D.N. O’Brien

Hit the road Jac!

Tags

Australian poet, Jacinda Ardern New Zealand Prime Minister, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

𝐇𝐢𝐭  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝  𝐉𝐚𝐜!

She’s fallen — farewell Kiwi sister.

Goodbye, have her faithful fans kissed her.

She’d bit off far more

Than her impressive jaw

Could chew — so adieu communista.

— D.N. O’Brien

In the Army!

Tags

Australian poet, Formal poetry, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

𝐈𝐧  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐲!

You know what I’ve been thinking?

That soldiers’ balls are shrinking.

For in the ranks

They’re firing blanks,

And at each other winking.

— D.N. O’Brien

The Last Day

Tags

poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐲

I worked with a man who was young and smart;
He was honest too, as the day is long.
Forty years ago did our paths then part,
And I thought forever, but I was wrong.
When I’d last known him he was straight and strong,
But the man I met on the year’s last day,
To my memories he did not belong:
He was bowed and bent and his hair was grey,
And he said as I shook his hand: “G’day”
In a feeble voice, (Oh his hand was cold),
And he gazed at me in the strangest way,
And he softly said: “Well you have grown old.”

So we reminisced, then said our goodbyes,
And he shuffled off — with his two good eyes.

— D.N. O’Brien

The Greatest Game

Tags

Australian poet, darts, Formal poetry, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞

The greatest game is darts — and I must say,
Dart players are the fittest men of all —
Just watch these perfect specimens at play!
No matter whether they are short or tall,
These mighty marksmen with their skills enthral.
Like little arrows shot from bended bows,
Their darts fly at the board upon the wall.
How do they execute such perfect throws?
The dart is held with flights close to the nose,
Then with a smooth movement of arm and wrist,
Toward the triple 20, off it goes,
And seldom is that tiny target missed.
So hail these sportsmen — raise a mighty cheer
To champions of chips, meat pies, and beer.

— D.N. O’Brien

Fly Wins Debate!

Tags

Harris / Pence debate, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

𝐅𝐥𝐲  𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬  𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐞!

A fly landed on Pence’s head.

Soon throughout the land the word spread!

Though both still debated,

The fly fascinated,

So it mattered not what they said.

— D.N. O’Brien

Thinking Nice Thoughts

Tags

Anti-depressants, Australian poet, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

I’ve started thinking nice thoughts every day,
And magically the world’s a better place.
All existential threats have gone away.
No longer are there any foes to face.
I’ve thrown away my nunchuks and my mace.
My rifles I have flung into my lake
With all my ammunition — every case.
It’s so easy to do, a piece of cake!
Nice thoughts are all you need, make no mistake!
They’ll make your wordly worries disappear!
No longer do my limbs begin to shake
When I see scary things — I have no fear!
(These pills the doctor gave me work so well,
I think I’d be exuberant in Hell!)

— D.N. O’Brien

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞

Tags

Australian poet, Flippin Arkansas, Flippin Police Department, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞

All these jokes about Flippin must cease!
Or I’ll call up the Flippin Police!
It ain’t flippin’ funny
To mock our town sonny!
You’re flippin’ disturbin’ the peace!

— D.N. O’Brien

Flippin Arkansas Police Department