The alien is behind bars;
He said that he came from the stars.
“Which planet?” We asked;
He soon was unmasked;
He’ll be extradited to Mars.
Let’s face it, fart’s a funny word
And flatulence a word absurd,
Yet from all beasts that flock or herd,
The finely feathered or the furred,
From elephant to tiny bird,
Farts thunder or are hardly heard.
What was the point of Dinosaurs and such?
I’ve seen their bones. (they said I couldn’t touch)
They didn’t dance; they didn’t sing;
They didn’t do a bloody thing!
One hundred million years of “nothing much.”
The lizards are dyin’ of thirst,
And the red-bellied blacks – that’s a first.
All the cattle are dead
And the roos have all fled;
What we need is a flamin’ cloudburst.
A Giant Shadow
Alexander the Great (what a man!)
To Diogenes said: “I’m a fan!”
Said the Cynic: “Look son,
You are blocking the sun,
And I’m trying to get a great tan.”
Diogenes carried a light
In the daytime – no not in the night.
He looked high and low
But wherever he’d go
No honest men came within sight.
Mini Mobile Home
He slept in a pot made of clay,
And he rolled it around every day.
It was quite a tight squeeze
But old Diogenes
Said: ”It’s cramped, but I like it that way.”