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~ All Poetry ยฉ Dennis N. O'Brien, 2010 – 2019

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Category Archives: Humour

Hit the road Jac!

19 Thursday Jan 2023

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour, Satire

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Australian poet, Jacinda Ardern New Zealand Prime Minister, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

๐‡๐ข๐ญ  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž  ๐ซ๐จ๐š๐  ๐‰๐š๐œ!

Sheโ€™s fallen โ€” farewell Kiwi sister.

Goodbye, have her faithful fans kissed her.

Sheโ€™d bit off far more

Than her impressive jaw

Could chew โ€” so adieu communista.

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

In the Army!

16 Monday Jan 2023

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Australian poet, Formal poetry, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

๐ˆ๐ง  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž  ๐€๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฒ!

You know what Iโ€™ve been thinking?

That soldiersโ€™ balls are shrinking.

For in the ranks

Theyโ€™re firing blanks,

And at each other winking.

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

The Last Day

31 Thursday Dec 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour, Nature, Observation, Sonnet

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐‹๐š๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ƒ๐š๐ฒ

I worked with a man who was young and smart;
He was honest too, as the day is long.
Forty years ago did our paths then part,
And I thought forever, but I was wrong.
When Iโ€™d last known him he was straight and strong,
But the man I met on the yearโ€™s last day,
To my memories he did not belong:
He was bowed and bent and his hair was grey,
And he said as I shook his hand: โ€œGโ€™dayโ€
In a feeble voice, (Oh his hand was cold),
And he gazed at me in the strangest way,
And he softly said: โ€œWell you have grown old.โ€

So we reminisced, then said our goodbyes,
And he shuffled off โ€” with his two good eyes.

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

The Greatest Game

17 Thursday Dec 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour, Sonnet

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Australian poet, darts, Formal poetry, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐†๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ญ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ ๐†๐š๐ฆ๐ž

The greatest game is darts โ€” and I must say,
Dart players are the fittest men of all โ€”
Just watch these perfect specimens at play!
No matter whether they are short or tall,
These mighty marksmen with their skills enthral.
Like little arrows shot from bended bows,
Their darts fly at the board upon the wall.
How do they execute such perfect throws?
The dart is held with flights close to the nose,
Then with a smooth movement of arm and wrist,
Toward the triple 20, off it goes,
And seldom is that tiny target missed.
So hail these sportsmen โ€” raise a mighty cheer
To champions of chips, meat pies, and beer.

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

Fly Wins Debate!

08 Thursday Oct 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Harris / Pence debate, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

๐…๐ฅ๐ฒ  ๐–๐ข๐ง๐ฌ  ๐ƒ๐ž๐›๐š๐ญ๐ž!

A fly landed on Penceโ€™s head.

Soon throughout the land the word spread!

Though both still debated,

The fly fascinated,

So it mattered not what they said.

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

Thinking Nice Thoughts

21 Tuesday Jul 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour, Sonnet

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Anti-depressants, Australian poet, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

๐“๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐๐ข๐œ๐ž ๐“๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ

Iโ€™ve started thinking nice thoughts every day,
And magically the worldโ€™s a better place.
All existential threats have gone away.
No longer are there any foes to face.
Iโ€™ve thrown away my nunchuks and my mace.
My rifles I have flung into my lake
With all my ammunition โ€” every case.
Itโ€™s so easy to do, a piece of cake!
Nice thoughts are all you need, make no mistake!
Theyโ€™ll make your wordly worries disappear!
No longer do my limbs begin to shake
When I see scary things โ€” I have no fear!
(These pills the doctor gave me work so well,
I think Iโ€™d be exuberant in Hell!)

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐…๐ฅ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง ๐“๐ก๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž ๐‹๐ข๐ง๐ž

13 Monday Jul 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Australian poet, Flippin Arkansas, Flippin Police Department, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐…๐ฅ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง ๐“๐ก๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž ๐‹๐ข๐ง๐ž

All these jokes about Flippin must cease!
Or Iโ€™ll call up the Flippin Police!
It ainโ€™t flippinโ€™ funny
To mock our town sonny!
Youโ€™re flippinโ€™ disturbinโ€™ the peace!

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

Flippin Arkansas Police Department

Worms

18 Thursday Jun 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Australian poet, Can of worms, Nightmares, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

Worms

Once all the worms, in cans were tightly sealed;
For those invertebrates would cause us harm.
But cans are opening, and there revealed,
The slimy creatures. Some sound the alarm,
But most say: โ€œDo not panic, please stay calm.
The worms will not destroy us โ€“ theyโ€™re benign;
They even have a certain wormy charm;
Keep opening the cans โ€” all will be fine โ€”
Now try this rich ricotta with your wine.โ€
The worms all congregate and reproduce,
As on the riches of the host they dine,
Until the last imprisoned wormโ€™s let loose!
I scream: โ€œWhat is that crawling in my head!โ€
Iโ€™d best not drink that home-brew before bed.

– D.N. O’Brien

Viral Conversation

09 Tuesday Jun 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Australian poet, Civet cat, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry, Wuhan Virus

๐•๐ข๐ซ๐š๐ฅ ๐‚๐จ๐ง๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง

Two viruses having a chat:
โ€œI come from Wuhan, via a bat.โ€
Said the other microbe
Whilst adjusting his robe:
โ€œThis is genuine fur โ€” civet cat.โ€

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

The Frightened Ones

11 Monday May 2020

Posted by Dennis N. O'Brien in Humour, Satire, Sonnet

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Australian poet, Culture of fear, Fear, Formal poetry, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐…๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ž๐ ๐Ž๐ง๐ž๐ฌ

It is the era of the frightened ones โ€”
The trembling terrified who freeze in fright.
Theyโ€™re terrified of viruses and guns,
And anything that goes bump in the night.
Of snakes and spiders and potato blight.
Of mice and elephants and also bears;
And darkness, one must not turn off the light
When theyโ€™re asleep โ€” theyโ€™ll be killed in nightmares!
Theyโ€™re scared of ants and certain plants and hares,
And every type of mole; and humming birds.
Theyโ€™re scared of circles, rectangles and squares,
And poets who write poems with big words.
Theyโ€™re scared of clocks and smelly socks and elves.
But what theyโ€™re really scared of is……. themselves.

โ€” D.N. Oโ€™Brien

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