Nether Winds

Tags

Australian poet, Cow farts, fart induced global warming, farts, farts warm planet, flatulence, poem, poetry

Let’s face it, fart’s a funny word
And flatulence a word absurd,
Yet from all beasts that flock or herd,
The finely feathered or the furred,
From elephant to tiny bird,
Farts thunder or are hardly heard.

California Farting

Parrot Talks

Tags

Australian poet, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

“She told me to say it? – Absurd!
I meant it – I did – every word!
When I open my beak
They are my words I speak!”
(It seems that he killed the wrong bird)

Insulting parrot – owner killed

Free Flittermouse

Tags

Australian poet, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

A salad sir? Yes it’s low fat.
And of course you may have fries with that.
And for no extra cost,
In your salad we’ve tossed
Extra protein – one dead rabid bat.

Dead bat in salad

Another Dull Jurassic Day

Tags

Age of Dinosaurs, Australian poet, Australian traditional poetry, Dinosaurs, Jurrasic, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

What was the point of Dinosaurs and such?
I’ve seen their bones. (they said I couldn’t touch)
They didn’t dance; they didn’t sing;
They didn’t do a bloody thing!
One hundred million years of “nothing much.”

Gettin’ a bit Dry

Tags

Australian bush poetry, australian formal poetry, Australian poet, Australian understatement, drought, laconic humour, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry, Red-bellied black snake

The lizards are dyin’ of thirst,
And the red-bellied blacks – that’s a first.
All the cattle are dead
And the roos have all fled;
What we need is a flamin’ cloudburst.

The Prodigal Pelican

Tags

Australian poet, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, Pelican, poem, poetry

As over the south seas he wandered,
The ponderous pelican pondered
Upon all the krill
He’d held in his bill
And all of the fish he had squandered.

Cynical Limericks

Tags

Alexander the Great and Diogenes, Ancient Greece, Australian poet, Corinth, Diogenes of Sinope, Diogenes the Cynic, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

A Giant Shadow

Alexander the Great (what a man!)
To Diogenes said: “I’m a fan!”
Said the Cynic: “Look son,
You are blocking the sun,
And I’m trying to get a great tan.”

Corinthian Corruption

Diogenes carried a light
In the daytime – no not in the night.
He looked high and low
But wherever he’d go
No honest men came within sight.

Mini Mobile Home

He slept in a pot made of clay,
And he rolled it around every day.
It was quite a tight squeeze
But old Diogenes
Said: ”It’s cramped, but I like it that way.”

The Market

Tags

Australian poet, Australian traditional poetry, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry, stock market

The Market’s a female you know;
She’s down, and then up she may go.
She says buy! Then sell!
This mad Mademoiselle
With all her emotions on show.

Banana Goes Straight!

Tags

Australian poet, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

Fruit lovers, hello! My name’s Lana.
I’ve invented the first straight banana.
Buy my straight ones – OK?
Don’t buy bent ones – that’s gay!
I’ll have them on eBay mañana.

Jail Birds

Tags

Australian poet, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry

We call a new witness today:
Their parrot – an African grey.
He says, from his cage
He witnessed her rage.
Now Polly – you may have your say.

Parrot is key witness