Tags
Australian poet, Formal poetry, limerick, poem, poetry, Shanghai
09 Sunday Apr 2023
Posted Humour
inTags
Australian poet, Formal poetry, limerick, poem, poetry, Shanghai
18 Saturday Feb 2023
๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฌ ๐๐ข๐ฉ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ข๐๐ข๐๐
It seems the pipeline blew itself to bits.
The Baltic Sea is a depressing place.
The pipeline basically just got the shits
With lying on the bottom with the plaice โ
Another day of boredom could not face.
The gas cramping its bowels it could not vent,
For as it did, from Russia more would race,
And thus the pipelineโs dire predicament.
And so by an explosion it was rent,
And all accused the Russians โ well of course!
While silent lay the pipeline, torn and bent
And lifeless, ruptured by internal force.
The U.S. did it? What a load of rot!
Relief came from a self-inflicted shot.
โ D.N. OโBrien
14 Tuesday Feb 2023
Posted Humour
inTags
Australian poet, Formal poetry, poem, poetry, Rishi Sunak, Russo / Ukraine war, Snow White, Zelensky
(๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ง ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐ก๐ข๐ญ๐)
One says: โI lead the state Ukraine.โ
The other says: โMy dwarfish brain,
It calculates twill not be long
Until you sing a different song,
Unless we British help you out
By giving you some tanks โ your clout,
And by extrapolation height,
Will then increase โ what ho! Snow White!โ
(A girl has walked into the bar โ
sheโs six feet six and quite bizarre.)
She says: โWhat is your dwarfish plan?
You both together make one man,
Pathetic though he still would be:
Conjoined Zelensky and Rishi.โ
Then said the much reduced in size
Unto the apparition wise:
โOur plan, while keeping our heads low,
Relates to making lots of dough!โ
โI see,โ said she, โFools, donโt you know
I am the goddess of the snow?
The earth I soon will freeze with ice
And lock the land in winterโs vice.โ
Snow White then turned upon her heel
And said: โA breeze you soon will feel โ
An icy wind from out the East.
This blinding blizzard so released
Will hold each hour in freezing night,
As sure as my name is….. Snow White.
โ D.N. OโBrien
19 Thursday Jan 2023
Tags
Australian poet, Jacinda Ardern New Zealand Prime Minister, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry
๐๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐!
Sheโs fallen โ farewell Kiwi sister.
Goodbye, have her faithful fans kissed her.
Sheโd bit off far more
Than her impressive jaw
Could chew โ so adieu communista.
โ D.N. OโBrien
16 Monday Jan 2023
Posted Humour
in๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฒ!
You know what Iโve been thinking?
That soldiersโ balls are shrinking.
For in the ranks
Theyโre firing blanks,
And at each other winking.
โ D.N. OโBrien
31 Thursday Dec 2020
Posted Humour, Nature, Observation, Sonnet
inTags
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฒ
I worked with a man who was young and smart;
He was honest too, as the day is long.
Forty years ago did our paths then part,
And I thought forever, but I was wrong.
When Iโd last known him he was straight and strong,
But the man I met on the yearโs last day,
To my memories he did not belong:
He was bowed and bent and his hair was grey,
And he said as I shook his hand: โGโdayโ
In a feeble voice, (Oh his hand was cold),
And he gazed at me in the strangest way,
And he softly said: โWell you have grown old.โ
So we reminisced, then said our goodbyes,
And he shuffled off โ with his two good eyes.
โ D.N. OโBrien
17 Thursday Dec 2020
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฆ๐
The greatest game is darts โ and I must say,
Dart players are the fittest men of all โ
Just watch these perfect specimens at play!
No matter whether they are short or tall,
These mighty marksmen with their skills enthral.
Like little arrows shot from bended bows,
Their darts fly at the board upon the wall.
How do they execute such perfect throws?
The dart is held with flights close to the nose,
Then with a smooth movement of arm and wrist,
Toward the triple 20, off it goes,
And seldom is that tiny target missed.
So hail these sportsmen โ raise a mighty cheer
To champions of chips, meat pies, and beer.
โ D.N. OโBrien
08 Thursday Oct 2020
Posted Humour
in๐ ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐๐ญ๐!
A fly landed on Penceโs head.
Soon throughout the land the word spread!
Though both still debated,
The fly fascinated,
So it mattered not what they said.
โ D.N. OโBrien
21 Tuesday Jul 2020
๐๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ
Iโve started thinking nice thoughts every day,
And magically the worldโs a better place.
All existential threats have gone away.
No longer are there any foes to face.
Iโve thrown away my nunchuks and my mace.
My rifles I have flung into my lake
With all my ammunition โ every case.
Itโs so easy to do, a piece of cake!
Nice thoughts are all you need, make no mistake!
Theyโll make your wordly worries disappear!
No longer do my limbs begin to shake
When I see scary things โ I have no fear!
(These pills the doctor gave me work so well,
I think Iโd be exuberant in Hell!)
โ D.N. OโBrien
13 Monday Jul 2020
Posted Humour
inTags
Australian poet, Flippin Arkansas, Flippin Police Department, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry
๐๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ก๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ข๐ง๐
All these jokes about Flippin must cease!
Or Iโll call up the Flippin Police!
It ainโt flippinโ funny
To mock our town sonny!
Youโre flippinโ disturbinโ the peace!
โ D.N. OโBrien