The Twit

Tags

limerick, poem, poetry

Too many tweets make a twat.
That’s what Cameron said – yes, just that.
Now David’s in trouble,
That bloody thought bubble
Burst out of his mouth then went flat.

David Cameron and Twitter

Burning (books)

Tags

limerick, poem, poetry

In that naive, but green pleasant land,
Pretty soon Churchill’s books will be banned,
As the faithful takeover
From Lands’ End to Dover
To John o’ Groats – flames will be fanned.

Man arrested in England for quoting Churchill

I’ll Never Speak ill of the Dead

Tags

Formal poetry, never speak ill of the dead, poem, poetry

On my word I will never speak ill of the dead,
No, not even the ones who were bad.
I would rather say nothing or praise them instead,
Though I may have to lie just a tad.

No, I won’t knock old Adolf or vilify Stalin,
For they weren’t all bad I suppose,
It’s said Adolf loved dogs so there’s no point in snarlin’,
Although he did tread on some toes.

And while Adolf and Stalin were both homicidal;
With blood both were stained rather red,
I will say that they meant well and never were idle.
I’ll never speak ill of the dead.

All those murdering despots, I never will curse
For although they were terrible knaves,
Like Attila and Sadam, Osama and worse
They are safe now deep down in their graves.

While alive I’ll condemn them, let pour out my hate,
But deceased, not a word will be said.
For no way I’ll berate, whether evil or great;
No, I’ll never speak ill of the dead.

Three’s a Crowd

Tags

poem, poetry, Three lesbians marry

Three lesbians got amorous,
And all were gay and glamorous;
Each scratched the other where she itched
So they decided to get hitched,
So to each other all were wed;
Now one keeps falling out of bed.

Three lesbians

The Man Who Lied

Tags

australian poetry, Formal poetry, poem, poetry

It’s funny how they listen to him now,
Although there was a time when they’d deride
That man – The President – the one who lied.
I understand that this guy swore a vow

To speak the truth, for after all, such men
(Or women for that matter) one would think,
Would never from such high positions sink
So low to cover up the truth, but then,

Some things are out of fashion, like self pride
And honesty, integrity and such,
And maybe it is asking way too much;
Especially of that man – the one who lied.

Veronica

Tags

Berenice, Formal poetry, Good Friday, poem, poetry, Veronica

Now when it’s told – the wise Jew’s tale,
Of courage tell, that never failed.
As men cried out and women wailed
Was to his face, she held her veil.

Soaked up his sweat in cherished lace,
Wiped from his lips the bitter taste,
And with his blessing she was graced,
For there upon the veil – his face.

Friday

Tags

australian formal poetry, Good Friday, poem, poetry

Was on this day he was assailed;
Was to a cross his body nailed.
The heavens thundered – strong men paled
As those who had condemned him quailed.

The wine so sour with gall was laced
And on his head the cruel crown placed.
His battered body stripped – debased,
And then his God the Saviour faced.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Tags

Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Formal poetry, poem, poetry

Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s brave.
Jihadists want her in her grave.

But now a university
Has taken back Ayaan’s degree.
This woman’s left out in the cold;
She doesn’t fit the liberal mould:
Those who support the shrouded liars
Who pour their poison from the spires.

Yes, Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s brave;
She has the courage cowards crave.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali denied degree

Mini Murder

Tags

limerick, poem, poetry

He may spit out his dummy and wail,
But his crimes would turn pygmies quite pale.
He’s a dangerous midget;
Get prints from each digit;
A playpen will do for his jail.

Toddler released on bail

Ping….ping….ping….pong…..

Tags

Indian Ocean, limerick, ping, poem, poetry

In the Indian ocean those pings,
May be coming from something with wings,
Or it could be a whale
Plucking strings with his tail,
While a chorus of porpoises sings.