Tabula Rasa

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We must remove all traces of the past,
So we can build a new society.
To make this brave new world forever last,
There must be no reminders left to see;
No hint of what our foes call history.
The narrative they teach must be replaced
With one that matches our philosophy.
Thus will the past be transformed to our taste,
And all once claimed as true despatched to waste.
It will support our ideology,
For all that would conflict will be erased.
Though perfect will our reconstruction be,
It’s true that it will be a pack of lies,
But history tells us this course is wise.

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Sun & Wind burn

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Renewables are all the rage!
We live in a misinformed age.

They know that the answer is coal,
So painting it black is their goal.

On sun and wind, power giants grow fat.
The government’s blind as a bat.

As wind turbines rise on the hills,
So rise electricity bills.

We’ve panels all over our roof!
That’s wise? Give me scientific proof.

Our houses, they now power the nation!
Much better, a central power station.

The experts inform all the dolts,
Though ignorant of amps and volts.

The dolts think the experts are wise,
They’re salesmen you fools – in disguise.

The towers on the hills stand in rows.
The blades rotate – when the wind blows.

The sun shines and on comes the light.
We sit in the dark through the night.

Our battery lasts for an hour!
To Tesla, surrender your power.

And batteries, one day will fail.
We’re saved for now – here comes a gale!

It’s cloudy and still as can be.
I can’t boil the kettle for tea.

The rich install panels – the poor,
Pay much more than they did before.

You live in the past – you are sour.
When we had reliable power.

But solar and wind – they are best!
They’re subsidized – give it a rest!

Quarks 101

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They’re fundamental particles
Described in complex articles.
They have six flavours which is strange;
They form a hadron when arranged.
The ups and downs are very light
But stable and a common sight,
Could we but see them, for we’re blind
To quarks – by colour they’re confined.
The others are the strange and charmed,
(In writing this no quarks were harmed.)
And top and bottom are the last,
With these four changing very fast
To ups and downs by their decays,
For they were made by cosmic rays.
They have two charges, mass, and spin,
And there is broad agreement in
Each published scientific source
That every quark feels every force.
As each quark has an anti-mate,
What if they meet? What is their fate?
If you are just a cloud of quarks,
Could you end in a shower of sparks?

Trump the Devil (‘s servant)

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Devilish News for Donald

The Donald, he visited Hell,
And choked on the sulphuric smell.
Old Nick, a vial gripping,
On acid was tripping –
The fiend said: “A secret I’ll tell:
It gives me much joy to confess
That I now control the U.S.,
And hour upon hour
Increases my power;
It’s Hell Trump, for I own the press!”

Breaking News! – One of our reliable sources has reported that Donald Trump recently had a secret meeting with the Devil, aka Old Nick, Beelzebub, Satan etc.. The meeting was held at the Devil’s headquarters, commonly known as Hell. It appears that Hell is located directly under the White House and not under the Kremlin as previously thought.

We’re not disclosing anything, but some speculate that our source, who for obvious reasons will remain unnamed, is embedded with the White House staff, and is carrying out a clandestine surveillance of Trump’s every evil move. Whilst observing Trump, who was at the time dressed in bright red pyjamas with “MAGA” emblazoned on the back, at or around midnight on a date that we won’t disclose, the source saw (but could not record unfortunately, due to a mysterious malfunction of his video camera) Trump enter a secret passageway deep in the bowels of the White House. (According to the source this secret passageway was personally excavated by Richard Nixon in his spare time back in the early ‘70s.)

Luckily Trump failed to lock the passageway door behind him, and the source entered and followed at a safe distance. The winding and steeply descending passageway soon became a narrow, dank, and slippery tunnel, dimly lit with a reddish glow. Gradually the air in the tunnel became warmer; the glow became redder and the source began finding it more and more difficult to breath; the smell of brimstone permeated the fetid miasma and the source had to try very hard not to choke and cough and so alert Trump, who was now some 20 yards in front of him and striding along at a rapid pace. The worse the air got the more sprightly Donald seemed to become.

Gradually the tunnel widened until at last it began to open out and the source saw Trump, still some yards ahead of him, enter into a blazing cave brightly lit by flames which seemed to emanate from the floor, the walls, and the roof. The flames engulfed Trump but he did not catch fire. The “MAGA” emblazoned on his pyjama-top began to pulse with some sort of demonic energy and Trump let out a maniacal laugh – “Hi honey – I’m home!” he ejaculated.

From out of the flames came a short figure all dressed in red. He had two horns protruding from his head and a long forked tail; he was carrying a pitchfork. “Cut the Hollywood inspired humour Trump! Call me honey one more time and I’ll have you replaced by Mike Pence before you can say: ’That’s sad!’” spat the Devil.(Well he was obviously the Devil.)

“Sorry Satan,” said Trump “It’s just my twisted sense of humour, which by the way, half of America, and most of the rest of the world doesn’t understand either. But that aside Nick – what are your latest instructions?”

“Come closer and I’ll tell you,” said the Devil. Trump did as he was instructed, and the Devil began whispering in his ear. The source, still cowering in the tunnel, close to the caves entrance, strained to hear the devil’s whispers, but due to the distance and the constant screaming in the background, he could only pick up the odd clear word and some syllables here and there:

“B???? that f???ing wall! – L??k up the ???ican babies in cages – nuke ????? Korea – Climate change is ????shit – shoot ???lary – Trudeau is a ????wit”. The source got the gist of the conversation.

Soon the meeting was over. Trump shook hands with the Devil. (Another thing he is frequently accused of.) This was followed by high-fives (well, mid-fives) and a brief rap performance by Satan, at the conclusion of which Donald applauded enthusiastically and encouraged the Devil to keep practicing.

The source had seen enough; he turned and retreated as fast as he could back up the tunnel, into the passageway, through the doorway and back to his quarters. He smelt strongly of brimstone and corruption (but mainly corruption.) He showered, put on his blue pyjamas and crawled into bed. It took what seemed like ages for him to get to sleep, and even then he only slept fitfully. He awoke as if from a nightmare, but he knew it had all been very real!

We’ve set down here in print what this totally reliable and honest source saw on the night in question. We suspected that Donald Trump was in league with the Devil and now we have the undeniable proof. Our sources are brave, resourceful, dedicated and above all else – imaginative.

This incredible, fantastic, almost unbelievable story shows that these courageous men and women, our reliable sources, will literally go to Hell and back, so that we may bring you – THE TRUTH.

© Fabricated Articles Keeping you Entertained News

Texas, Queensland

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On western plains it’s wont to hide,
Beyond the weathered great divide.
Around the town the cattle graze,
As on the benches old men laze.
A river wanders through the land,
But it’s no mighty Rio Grande.
Yes Texas is a little town
Of no importance or renown.
It’s small; to greatness makes no claim,
But had its brief moment of fame.

{“The origin of the town’s name is generally regarded as a reference to a territorial dispute. The land in the area was first settled by the McDougall brothers, who found squatters there on returning from the goldfields. Once their legal right to the land was recognized, they named their property in honour of a rather more famous dispute between the United States and Mexico over territory in Texas, USA” – from Wikipedia}

Abort! Abort!

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Destruction of potential wealth?
We’ll simply call it “women’s health”.

To get this done I’m forced to leave!
I see – they forced you to conceive?

That’s fixed, there’s now no need to roam.
In Ireland, kill your kids at home.

It ain’t a child – it’s just a thing!
(That when grown up can dance and sing.)

It’s really inconvenient….
Death sentences are lenient?

The mother’s mind, it matters most.
(Excusers for a deadly host.)

But fewer babies – ain’t that best?
So thinks the fast declining West.

I have the right, so I will kill!
(It’s murder when you miss that pill.)