No! I won’t eat meat for I think it is cruel.
I dine all the time just on bean sprouts and gruel.
Well that is a lie for I sometimes eat fish,
And on rare occasions I’ve crabs on my dish,
For it is allowed to eat things from the sea;
I’ve found vegetarians mostly agree.
And ducks are okay for they paddle about.
They’re sort of a web footed feathery trout,
And consuming chickens is perfectly fine;
They’re ducks with sharp noses and nice with white wine.
Which brings me quite neatly to bacon and pork.
I find them quite often on my knife and fork,
For pigs are like chickens to my careful eye;
Just give pigs some wings and I’m sure they could fly.
And cattle and pigs, if you follow my brief,
Are practically cousins, so yes I love beef,
But don’t think that I am a big hypocrite,
If I were served whale – no I wouldn’t eat it
Unless it was garnished with koala sauce
And served with roast platypus as the main course.
Vegetarian Animal Lover
10 Tuesday Apr 2012
Posted in Humour
dnobrienpoetry 
Hilarious, Dennis! This poem is so much fun. When I read it, I can feel that you had fun writing it.
And now I’m hungry for bacon: my FAVORITE meat!
Glad you liked in Sandra – hope I didn’t upset the vegetarians, I have no beef with them. 😉
For what it’s worth, it did not come across to me as being “anti-vegetarian.” If anything, it sounded like you knew how hard it was for a lot of people to try to become vegetarian and stick with it. I felt more “understanding” in it than any sense of “ridicule.” Besides, a lot of vegetarians do realize after a while that there’s something of real value in meat. I got so tickled at my niece-in-law, who was always a vegetarian — at least since before I knew her. She practiced that kind of eating all the way through college and after her marriage for about 4 years (although she cooked meat for her husband). But when she became pregnant with their first child, she started CRAVING hamburgers and couldn’t get by without eating one frequently. All vegetarianism is gone for good now.
A very enjoyable read Dennis. Loved it! 🙂
Good Norma and doesn’t that picture look mouth watering – well not to me of course being a vegetarian. 😉
LOL – this was very well conceived and presented – excuse by (sorry) peeled off layer by layer 🙂
Thanks Eric – the funny thing is I have known “vegetarians” who stretch the rules and use all sorts of excuses to eat all sorts of meat.
This had me laughing out loud Dennis!! :):)
I am a vegetarian btw – a completely whole one!!:)
I’m sure you are the genuine article Christine, now tuck into that lentil soup. 🙂
I will – with gusto!! :):)
Loved the satire, and one thing led to another perfectly. 🙂
Thanks Bard
LOL, Dennis. LOL. I suspect I’d be healthier if I were a vegetarian, but it probably won’t happen in this lifetime. My father was a butcher, and though I’ve tried to cut back on red meat, I still have trouble resisting.