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No! I won’t eat meat for I think it is cruel.
I dine all the time just on bean sprouts and gruel.
Well that is a lie for I sometimes eat fish,
And on rare occasions I’ve crabs on my dish,
For it is allowed to eat things from the sea;
I’ve found vegetarians mostly agree.
And ducks are okay for they paddle about.
They’re sort of a web footed feathery trout,
And consuming chickens is perfectly fine;
They’re ducks with sharp noses and nice with white wine.
Which brings me quite neatly to bacon and pork.
I find them quite often on my knife and fork,
For pigs are like chickens to my careful eye;
Just give pigs some wings and I’m sure they could fly.
And cattle and pigs, if you follow my brief,
Are practically cousins, so yes I love beef,
But don’t think that I am a big hypocrite,
If I were served whale – no I wouldn’t eat it
Unless it was garnished with koala sauce
And served with roast platypus as the main course.

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