27 Monday May 2019
Posted in Satire
Tags
Australian poet, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, Kerri-Anne Kennerley, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry
That Kerri Girl
Kerri-Anne, she spoke out about Bill,
For she knows for a fact he’s a dill.
This intelligent lady
Knows Labor is shady.
She’s taken, it seems, the red pill.
— D.N. O’Brien
22 Wednesday May 2019
Posted in Satire
Tags
Australian Federal Election 2019, Australian poet, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, Chris Bowen Labor politician, Franked share dividends, Franking Credits, Imputation Credits, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry
𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤
Franking Credits? Well just to be frank —
We will steal them. I’ve Bowen to thank
For this sneaky idea.
There is nothing to fear…….
(Well, not now Bill — your pirate ship sank.)
— D.N. O’Brien
19 Sunday May 2019
Posted in Satire
Tags
ABC, ABC Labor and Greens bias, Australian Broadcasting Corporation, Biased left wing journalism, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, Bob Brown of the Greens, Clive Palmer, Labor loses 2019 election, Nine Publishing, Proposed Adani coal mine
Autopsy
It’s sad — the Left is in a state of shock.
They and their mates, the ABC and NINE,
Just can’t believe that their “progressive” flock
Is smaller than they thought. They weep and whine
As tears roll down their downy cheeks. That mine!
Adani! That’s how come this time they failed!
It’s Bob Brown’s fault! His protest made a fine
Mess of their hopes. They should have safely sailed
To victory — but wait! Palmer derailed
Them. He spent sixty million bucks — that’s it!
His TV ads — the leaflets that he mailed!
He sullied Shorten’s name, the rotten shit!
What? No! It couldn’t be their policies!
Dumb voters! They’re so bloody hard to please!
— D.N. O’Brien
16 Thursday May 2019
Posted in Satire
Tags
Australian Federal Election 2019, Australian poet, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry
Bill Kebab
He’s the Bill that no one can afford.
For the facts sneaky Bill has ignored.
Oh he is such a dill!
And I’m hoping he will,
When he loses, fall on his small sword.
— D.N. O’Brien
16 Thursday May 2019
Posted in Satire
Tags
Australian Federal Election 2019, Australian poet, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry
𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥’𝐬 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐢𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡(𝐬)
Tell us Bill, what religion are you?
“I’m a Christian, a Buddhist, a Jew;
I’m a Muslim some days,
And I like Hindu ways —
It depends on who I’m talking to.”
— D.N. O’Brien
16 Thursday May 2019
Posted in Satire
Tags
Australian Federal Election 2019, Australian poet, Bill Shorten attacks PM's faith, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, limerick, Limerick poem, Limerick poetry, poem, poetry, Scott Morrison Australian Prime Minister
Bill the Christian/Agnostic/Atheist/Whatever…
“Oh dear! What’s that sulphurous smell?”
Says Bill — “Can’t you smell it as well?”
Scott’s faith’s been abused,
And God’s not amused —
I think Bill is headed for Hell.
— D.N. O’Brien
13 Monday May 2019
Tags
Australian convicts, Australian Federal Election 2019, Australian Greens, Australian poet, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, Formal poetry, Gulag, King brown snake, Microbus, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet, Transportation
𝐀 𝐏𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐏𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐬
If Labor and the Greens happen to win,
What happens to the poets of the right?
Will Bill just take our punches on the chin?
More likely, we will be removed from sight.
To some place where our works won’t see the light —
A gulag in the gum trees way out west,
Where hot sun sears, flies swarm, and king browns bite.
Just tucked away, away from all the rest,
Out where the dingos howl and eagles nest.
We’ll be transported, like in days of old.
They’ll tell the people it is for the best,
For we write evil words. (Or so they’re told.)
They’ll need to transport every one of us;
I estimate they’ll need a microbus.
— D.N. O’Brien.
13 Saturday Apr 2019
Posted in Satire
Charge!
For just 8 minutes Bill charges his car.
But then he wonders: “Why not it go far?”
And in other news……..
Charging Stations & Motels R Us
The CEO of Charging Stations & Motels R Us, Phil Erup, has announced a plan to build a chain of electric car charging stations complete with integrated motels for hundreds of guests. Thousands of these facilities will be built across the nation in the coming years as we all switch from petrol and diesel powered cars and trucks to electric vehicles.
To quote Mr Erup: “Although my personal hero and next Prime Minister Bill Shorten made a slight boo boo in saying that it only takes 8 minutes to charge an electric car, he was only out by a factor of 60 or so — it actually takes 8 to 10 hours. We envisage swarms of cars converging on our stations at the end of a long day’s driving (well, 500 kms max), and with nearly flat batteries. It will be a simple matter for the drivers to plug their cars in and retire with their passengers (if any) to their motel rooms for the night while their electric vehicles get fresh tank-fulls of electrons pumped into them.”
Mr Erup used an example of driving from Brisbane to Melbourne — “It would only take 4 to 5 days driving with 4 to 5 charges and motel stays.”
When questioned about the fact that with a petroleum powered car and 2 drivers the trip can be done in 24 hours or so, Mr Erup answered: “ Exactly! We all need to slow down a bit — modern life is killing us!”
Environmentalists, worried sick about the world ending in 12 years, have fully endorsed Mr Erup’s plan. A spokeswoman for United Fanatics to Save Gaia from CO2 Suffocation, Nightingale Sapphire Morningstar, stated: “We’d rather there were no cars (and no people), but if there have to be some for the time being then clearly they must be electric — with measures like this the Earth may even last 13 years or so.”
Work on the Charging Stations / Motels is expected to start as soon as the Labor/Greens alliance is elected to government. Neither the leader of the Labor Party nor the leader of the Greens could be contacted for comment as they are both currently attending a “Basic Electricity for Dummies” course at a Canberra college.
— D.N. O’Brien reporting for Satirist M I
07 Sunday Apr 2019
Tags
Australian Federal Election, Australian poet, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, Billycan, Clancy of the Overflow, Formal poetry, poem, poetry, ScoMo, Scott Morrison, Scott Morrison Prime Minister of Australia, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet
A Sonnet for ScoMo
G’day mate, I’m Scott Morrison ya know!
I’m as fair dinkum as a wallaby!
Like good ol’ Clancy of the Overflow,
I’ll boil ya up a billycan of tea!
I’ve lots of stuff that you can have for free!
Although I do admit I can’t match Bill
The Labor leader’s generosity;
But I’m not raisin’ taxes like that dill!
Him and his cobbers they’ll just raid the till!
No! True blue blokes like me don’t tell no lies!
So don’t go suckin’ on that Labor swill!
I’ll swat those mongrels as if they were flies!
So don’t forget, vote Liberal Party mate!
I’m ScoMo, and I’ll make Australia great!
— D.N. O’Brien
09 Sunday Dec 2018
Tags
Australia stops illegal boat people, Australian Labor Party, Australian Liberal Party, Australian poet, Bill Shorten Labor Leader, Formal poetry, Illegal immigration, Manus Island, Nauru, Offshore processing of boat people, poem, poetry, sonnet, Spenserian sonnet, Turning back the boats
Bill’s Boats
With Bill in charge the boats will soon be back.
Wrecks once again will sail the briny seas.
Of “refugees” there will not be a lack,
As Labor and the Greens rush to appease
The U.N. – they will fall upon their knees
And beg forgiveness for sins of the past:
The mercilessness of their enemies –
The Liberal scum who on a far isle cast
The people of the boats – soon at half-mast
They’ll fly the flag, and mourn all those returned
To their homelands – state: “They will be the last!
Let no more boats be sunk! Let none be burned!”
Flotillas gather on those distant shores.
The going price to smuggle people soars.
dnobrienpoetry 