I Demand Reasonable Proof!
โMy reasoningโs sound. I refuse
To have such beliefs. You sir, lose! –
My convictions are strong!โ
โYouโve just proved yourself wrong –
The proofโs in the reason you use.โ
The Great Spirit Contemplates
Fifteen billion years โ really? Has it been that long? Iโm getting a little tired of this particular universe and all of its petty galaxies, stars, planets and moons, not to mention asteroids, comets and dark matter โ mustnโt forget the dark matter. This game is simply dragging on too long and I have all those other universes to supervise โ all in various stages of expansion or contraction. I create these damned monstrous things โ make just one planet out of all the billions capable of supporting life, I plant the seed, and then see how long it takes for intelligent life โ human life as they call it, to evolve, and then the fun starts.
Itโs simple really โ just figure it out! Thatโs the point of the game. But these humans? Good god! They reach a point where I begin to have some hope, and then backwards they go! Their technology reaches a stage where they put a man on the moon โ oh joy! Soon they will be seriously striking out for the stars! And I donโt mean just launching the odd piddling probe past Pluto, but really getting serious about exploring the universe โ and beyond! Maybe soon they will be finally starting to figure it out! And then I may even give them a clue for being so damned smart. But then what happens? They stop โ thatโs what happens. They turn inward and embrace doubt. They become pessimistic and nihilistic โ their cup is not half full, it is damned near empty. Or they go all Eastern Mysticism on me and contemplate their belly-buttons, or go full atheist and just get bloody-minded and angry.
Itโs the same pattern over and over again โ each universe I create finishes up in the same depressing state โ thatโs why I send them into reverse โ into contraction. Liked the big bang? Then see how you like the BIG CRUNCH you stupid humans! Oh god – mustnโt be like that โ must stay in control. After all I am the one in total control, arenโt I?
Well of course I am! So how much longer do I give this poor pathetic universe? This universe where live the Earth humans who have lost their way. Is it beyond saving? Will they snap out of their phone, tablet, computer, self-inflicted, godless lethargy? What! Godless? Self promotion you say? Moi? No, no, no โ I donโt mean that they have to worship me as God! But for Christโs sake at least acknowledge my presence! At least give me some credit โ a bit of gratitude? Is that too much to ask? โShow yourself!โ they say. Show myself! What do they wish to see? I donโt hide! Open your eyes and look around! I show myself everyday! (And every night for that matter.) Where do they think all these brazillions of tons of matter came from? Where do they think these precise mathematical rules came from? Where do they think the miracle that is life came from? – thin air? Oh sure, from the singularity and the Big Bang โ well where did the singularity come from, and who triggered the Big Bang? Iโll give them singularity! Iโll give them a Big Bang!
No, no, Iโll give them a little more time โ Iโll calm down. Got to get my ichor-pressure down. Maybe theyโll snap out of it. Maybe they will resume their positive path to the stars and enlightenment, instead of just making god-awful movies about it. Maybe finally after all my tries humans will win the game โ maybe even these Earth humans; But realistically (and Iโm obviously a realist) it doesnโt look good. If finally I do have to reach for that โReverseโ button then โ well, all I can say is……..Heaven help them.