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Starbucks in their Eyes

Liberal Starbucks is gentle and kind,
And its bums, they are suave and refined.
None are dirty or mean
And its bathrooms are clean.
(If you think that, you’re out of your mind.)

Hotel Starbucks

Man, this life on the street really sucks!
But I know of a place where some schmucks,
They will house me for free;
Hey, That sounds good to me!
So I’m moving my stuff to Starbucks.

Starbucking the System

We’re opening stores in the slums.
We’re welcoming hoes, whores and bums;
For bias ain’t funny!
We’ll make lots of money.
(They’re not very clever at sums.)

Falling Starbucks

Come see the defunct coffee house,
Where there now lives a rat and a mouse,
And a flock of fine fleas
On a dog with disease,
And a lonely bum and his pet louse.