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My head is in a dreadful funk.
My gut has swelled. My chest has sunk.
My skin is covered with red scales.
Hair’s fallen out, as have my nails.
I pace at night. I never sleep.
Ears ring like bells. My nostrils seep.
My bones feel like they soon will break.
I sweat and shiver and I shake.
My sight grows dim. I’ll soon be blind.
My toes they tingle – hips they grind.
My knees they knock. My elbows lock –
So desperate, I saw the doc.
The doctor said: “Here’s what I’ve found:
There’s nothing wrong – your health is sound.
There’s no disease that I can find –
It seems that it’s all in your mind.”
It’s in my mind! The guy’s a quack!
Oh damn! I think I’ve done my back!
Oh no! That rumbling! Ahhh! I fear,
Here comes my chronic diarrhea!

{After reading Whiner}