There once was a man named Trudeau
Who dealt a frail woman a blow.
He gave it his best
And flattened her chest –
Let’s hope that he gets the elbow.
[for Tom Riley]
Oh who would write them? Only a contrarian;
That guy from Napa writes them all the time.
A stream of words quite perfectly Spenserian,
Arranged in ranks, each with the proper rhyme.
(They follow a precision paradigm)
I don’t know how he does it, I confess.
When I attempt them I commit a crime,
For mine are mostly an unholy mess.
But from this poem’s purpose I digress.
I wrote it for that guy from Napa see,
And that’s the point I really wish to stress:
This sonnet form, I think we’d all agree
Is difficult – damned difficult to do;
That guy from Napa – let’s give him his due.
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Now gone, the moat of ocean wide and deep,
As in the north appears a bridge of land
And on the beaches, footprints in the sand.
The spreading hordes through virgin forests creep.
With club and spear, a harvest rich they reap,
As fire-sticks strike and high the flames are fanned
As winds of change sweep through this ancient land
To wake it from its long primeval sleep.
Now clear are seen and heard portents of doom:
The plumes of smoke, and too, the warning sound
Of feet that stamp upon the blackened ground.
Thus giants the land had nurtured in her womb
Will but in dreaming legends soon be found –
Invaders will consign them to the tomb.
Cruz – he is a touch too pious.
Bernie has a leftist bias.
Hillary’s lies test and try us.
Trump may split or unify us,
But the guy who would deny us
Rights, and with his laws hog-tie us;
Appease those who vilify us,
Though they’d crush and crucify us,
Is the reigning Emperor – Gaius.
After reading Government by Decree
mister lady! You’re in the wrong joint!
Who cares for your crackpot viewpoint! –
The why or the how;
The point is that now
You don’t have a percy to point!
mister sister you’re round the wrong way.
You must face the thing and then…. spray.
But then I suppose
You’re minus a hose –
They’ve taken your pointer away.
Sometimes I’m a woman; sometimes I’m a male.
I can be a hunk or a nice piece of tail.
Depends how I’m feelin’;
My sex is free-wheelin’;
I change like the wind – as it blows, so I sail.
Pearl Harbor’s been attacked! the Japanese are in the war!
Please spare me all this talk of hate; of violence, death and gore.
But sir! Our ships are burning, and brave men lie dead and maimed;
Their troops advance with loaded guns – it’s at our heads they’re aimed!
Well maybe we deserve it – we’ve been cruel to them you know.
We think we’re so superior; you reap the crop you sow.
But really, Mr. President, we urgently must act;
We can’t afford such sentiments – sir! we have been attacked!
Alright, if you insist then! Ask them nicely, to withdraw,
And if they don’t, try sanctions – on your way out….. close the door.
He was screaming “Allahu Akbar!
The only true god is Allah!
Infidel, you must die!”
But the question is – Why
Did he do it? A terrorist? – Nah!