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My goodness! There’s no place to hide.
The country’s awash with gay pride.
Of course they don’t bug me.
(But best they don’t hug me)
I think I’ll retreat back inside.

That’s better; I’m safe in my house,
Though some may think I am a louse,
For straight’s not in fashion,
I don’t share their passion –
You see, I’ve a wife for a spouse.