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Why would you watch an ugly brute
When gastropods are oh so cute?
While other folk are watching whales
I go outdoors to see my snails

Go to and fro amongst the plants;
Glide gracefully by schools of ants.
On lettuce leaf and tufts of turf
They slip and slide – on slime they surf.

Shells held aloft like tiny sails,
They leave on leaves their shiny trails
So like the phosphorescent tracks
Of whales who don’t have shelly backs.

These whales, the briny oceans breach.
My snails, the tops of toadstools reach
And navigation they could teach
To mammals stranded on the beach

Where people weep and whine for whales.
(But would they blubber for dead snails?)
No, whales I won’t be watching for
Compared to snails they’re quite a boor.