Private Jones’ mother has died, his Commanding Officer asks his platoon sergeant
To gently break the news to Jones…..
Officer:
“Ah, sergeant, news that’s rather bad:
Poor private Jones – his mother died.
Please break it gently….. it’s so sad.”
The officer said teary eyed.
Sergeant:
“Of course sir……. Right! – Now on parade!
Now make it sharp – be quick, don’t slack!
Cumon! Cumon! now move yer bones!
All those wiv muvvers – one pace back!
Where ARE you going, private Jones?”
dnobrienpoetry 
LOL
Old army joke