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There used to be a lot of jokes
About gay women and gay blokes.
About those macho lesbians
And out of closet thespians.

But here in Aussie we beseech
Comedians to watch their speech,
And sanitize these phobic tales
Else find themselves locked up in jails.

Yes, ridicule of gays must cease
And of the short and the obese.
All jokes and slurs please stop, desist!
Oh damn! Minorities I missed.

Of ethnic backgrounds please don’t joke;
You may upset these tender folk.
Although in jest you make these jibes
Australia’s now a land of tribes.

What was accepted as just fun
Is now a slur – it’s just not done.
“You can’t say that!” people will cry;
“Stop! you degrade and vilify!”

But if you think this isn’t fair,
With comics crying in despair,
There are still some you can defame:
Thin pretty models are fair game

And Irish jokes are still okay;
I told one just the other day,
And you may take your righteous fight
Right up to those who’s views are right.

Bald men must take it on the chin.
(Alright I know I’m getting thin)
Lampoon the Christians, mild and meek;
They tend to turn the other cheek.

And you won’t be beyond the pale;
The thought police won’t scream and wail,
As long as those that you assail
Are always straight and white and male.